Category: Food and Drink
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Serenity Salad
I ate a pre-made salad in the breakroom yesterday It was quiet at first But then the numbnuts started rolling in Youthful oblivion The complaining old People about to burst People who just can’t shut up About Dungeons and Dragons Artificial girlfriends Horror movies Misinformed politics The bosses The company… Most of the time I Read more
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Good Morning, Guacamole
I hate cabbage but I like sauerkraut I hate tomatoes but I like pasta sauce I hate onions but I don’t mind crispy onion strings on my Western Burger from a local burger joint with a name I suddenly cannot recall I hate chunky guacamole, but yeah, I just hate guacamole Even guacamole from Guadalajara Read more
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Head Injury and Hot Dogs
A young girl fell out of a grocery cart in the meat department today. I was right there, looking at chicken when it happened. The rubbery thudding smack her head made against the polished floor was highly audible and excruciating. It rattled my guts. She immediately began to cry, and her mother went to her Read more
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The Red Lobster Event
It was at a Red Lobster restaurant on the outskirts of Peoria, Illinois when the nervousness really kicked in. I was sipping on a cranberry Boston iced tea and thinking about the loneliness of the sea at the same time I was looking out the window at the savage ravages of the world. The thought Read more
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The Tomatoes of Oz
The doorbell rang at dusk The old woman came bearing fruit She held three tomatoes in tired hands One was the size of a softball The other two she cradled like bloated testicles They came from her very own garden and she beamed with pride I had to accept the gift, for it would be Read more
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The Gravy Canoe of Wild Wyoming – 1
The party was to be held at the home of the mysterious Veronica Eyes. She had eyes that didn’t look human. They were orange, almost. He wondered what she thought of him. Read more
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The Lobster Guy (Eight)
“I don’t know if I can go back to his table,” Maggie said. “He’s crushing my positive Red Lobster vibe, and I’m just not okay with that.” Read more
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The Misty-Eyed Stormtrooper (Episode II)
The Unexpected Meeting When things had quieted down and most of the other stormtroopers were settling into the barracks for the night, Karl retrieved his secret cookbook from its hiding place and snuck off to the communal kitchen to bake bread. He rummaged through the cabinets to gather bowls and utensils and pans and all Read more
CEREAL AFTER SEX 