Dark Humor
-
The Pot Pie Wonder Wall
His apartment is high and made of glass. He looks over the pinpricks, the massive cluster of skyscrapers. All is quiet inside. All is chaos outside. Black smoke rises. Spots of flickering orange mark the fires. There are swarms of people crushing forth toward the barricades. The questionable neighborhoods are cut off from the rest… Continue reading
-
Southern Naked Dolls (End)
The natural cage in which he walked was made of trees. The trail wound along the edge of the lake, and he could peer out between limbs and leaves and see the sparkling blue water. Then the trail curved inward, deeper into the forest and all was silent save for the birds or scrambles of… Continue reading
-
Southern Naked Dolls (2)
The first part of this story can be found HERE. “Why are you holding a naked clown doll?” the hotel clerk at the front desk asked Bevin Elderberry. He laughed. “I just paid a visit to the antique store and the old guy there gave me this thing.” “Hmm. Slim Jim gave you that creepy… Continue reading
-
The Inappropriate Architect (2)
She didn’t know where to look the moment she stepped inside Fidel Architect the architect’s glamorous home and its modern mid-century rustic vibe. Her head nearly twisted off. She was stunned by the indoor waterfall and the size of the kitchen and all its shiny toys to cook and clean with. “You really live here?”… Continue reading
-
Dinner Plate Behind You (1)
A table of ass juts out from her backside. People call her the Lunch Lady because a person could put their tray of food right up on there, pull up a chair, and eat. She just needs to be still for a spell and not do anything nasty. Shelby Grace works in the pharmacy of… Continue reading
-
Canned Rabbit Magic 5
Morning cracked open like a hopeful universal egg as the rabbit emerged from under the house. The air was wrapped up in a spring chill. Everything seemed dripping wet. He was no longer inside a can; he broke out and could now unleash himself upon the world. When he stood, he looked more like an… Continue reading
-
Canned Rabbit Magic 1
The strangest thing the Peppercorn family had there on the eating table was the canned rabbit. The label was pink and depicted a small cerulean-blue rabbit frolicking through a field of psychedelic Easter eggs from outer space. There were also two baskets filled to the brim with Easter eggs, colorful, impeccably decorated. It could easily… Continue reading
-
The Alien
I was standing in the grocery store looking at bread. My mind was kind of numb. I was thinking about a dream I had the night before where I placed an unwrapped Baby Ruth candy bar on the floor of a stall in a public bathroom and just left it there. Then I started laughing… Continue reading
-
Oaf Doomsday
We just can’t anymore. This abysmal toast of every morning. The spotted sunrise. The opiate day curtains. The panic, the tremors, the heart rushes, the worry, the candy fevers. The daily death of dreams. Cracked crystal balls leaking hopeless futures. The bombs, the broken babies, the bazooka douchebags and their flags and Freedom Fries. An… Continue reading
-
The Red Lobster Event
It was at a Red Lobster restaurant on the outskirts of Peoria, Illinois when the nervousness really kicked in. I was sipping on a cranberry Boston iced tea and thinking about the loneliness of the sea at the same time I was looking out the window at the savage ravages of the world. The thought… Continue reading
cereal after sex 