Dark Humor
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Bread Mannequins and Green Mist
On the green and misty outskirts of Cincinnati, a man named Saul Revenge pauses in his driveway and looks at his blue house. His rust-orange suit is crumpled from a day of working and living. Everything seems intact beneath a cantaloupe and baby-blue cotton colored sky streaked with bruise gray. The shrubs are neatly pruned… Continue reading
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The Salaman
The Salaman stood inside a half-circle shower stall made of smooth zoo stone and let the water spray upon him. Cliff was in a rubber suit and wearing high rubber boots and he stood outside the stall, his hands gripping a thick green hose that shot out a forceful stream of water. “Raise your arms… Continue reading
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The Gravy Canoe of Wild Wyoming – 12
Steel Brandenburg III felt the presence of a large wild animal as he stood on the back patio of the Gould house. He could hear the animal struggling to breathe. He turned to see her there with a disappointed look on her face. “Can you please explain what that was all about?” Carrie said to… Continue reading
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Ms. Grundy and the Bone Ghosts (5)
Mary O’Shea blundered into the house and kicked off her shoes. Her husband, the constable, was sitting in his relaxing chair in the front room and staring out the window while he sipped on a glass with three fingers of Jameson Whiskey inside it. “Where have you been?” he called out without even glancing over… Continue reading
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A Restless Vessel
He was feeling restless in his overheated testicles on that day when everything changed. The man named Steeple resembled a yellow wooden pencil as he shimmied down the sidewalk and away from the store on Story Street that sold mostly women’s lingerie and unmentionable undergarments. One of the clerks in the store had caught him… Continue reading
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The Celestial Salad Bar (Two)
Albom Riff handed over the cash for the room at the Robin Hood and took his key. It was a real key, a brass key, attached to a yellow piece of plastic shaped like a diamond and with the room number 9 etched into it. “Thanks,” he said to the woman behind the counter, and… Continue reading
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The Gravy Canoe of Wild Wyoming – 10
“My, my, Melba,” Pastor Stikk said. “I can certainly see where Carrie gets her delicious beauty from. My God, if you were an ice cream cone, I’d lick you all over.” His laugh that followed was boisterous and sickly. Continue reading
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The Gravy Canoe of Wild Wyoming – 8
“Yes. Word spreads. Word gets to me. People say you give off bad vibes, that you’re unprofessional and have a salty attitude about life.” Continue reading
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The Toast Technology of a Chicken Maniac
He unlocked the front door of his square apartment that reflected the colors of a pumpkin patch and went to take a warm bath with bubbles of a rainbow sheen. Continue reading
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The Lobster Guy (Nine)
“And if you were truly my friend, you wouldn’t force such a thing upon me. I’m not a killer. I’m a lover of lobster. I’m a lover of life!” Continue reading
cereal after sex 