• Walking to the Moon

    The birds began to sing

    at the edge of another dream

    My eyes hurt with sleep

    Heartbeat torn

    like old paper

    The skylight burns another hole

    through everything I hold

    But not your skin, your gaze, your soul

    I’m a rocking chair captain

    with threads of cold gold

    running through my veins

    this window is driving me insane

    Another hole to look through

    another view without you

    roof tiles and smokestacks

    a slice of cloudless sky

    Every day I whisper or scream –

    How I wish for flight, out of sight

    Naked at dawn

    these unforgiving hours

    A smoldering cigarette lights the way

    Through this smashed up haze

    I’m just a cast away

    on lost highway

    with nowhere to go

    but so many damn directions

    Empty roads beckon wanderlust

    Heaven torn asunder by the sun

    I’m down and out, beat

    I wanna run

    to the view from a summer porch

    buried in the green torch

    memories of stories

    told outside a backdrop

    of large glass windows

    Memories torn asunder by the sun

    This heartache wakes me to another day

    beating against the wall of my chest

    Struggling to breathe

    I want to let the world in

    but how do I believe?

    When everything I once captured

    has now been released

    And everyone I love

    Loves someone else

    And everyone I love

    lives in a different house

    And everyone I love

    doesn’t even remember my name

    Headlamps stir this torture

    like a straw in a poisoned drink

    I’m melting in the cold

    Truth untold

    Lie awake at night

    struggling to calm the burdens of the day

    My life gone astray

    Stone, metal harp

    greets me at the door

    turn the key

    and I’ll be free

    Because everyone I loved

    never even knew me…

  • Elvis in Atlantis

    I saw Elvis making crop circles in Atlantis

    From the window of my pink wooden house

    Rattling pigeons lining the lip of the rain gutter

    Squawking at the wash line

    Strung out in the strata of the bleaching sun

    I hung out in the window frame

    Smoking Camel Lights in a T-shirt

    Watching flocks of black angels

    Soaring above the leafless treetops

    The bourbon reek of the ocean

    Rolling and foaming across my

    Tilted square of freshly-cut lawn

    My radio zoomed into Prague DJs

    The red pin of the dial pointing magnetic North

    Tangled fibers of cotton

    Being spit from slits

    In my favorite vinyl tablecloth

    Rings of coffee stains

    Blood stains

    Love stains

    Remind me of where I have been… 


    It was the sway of electric light September

    A lonely hovel of a home

    Basking in the sore stomach of life

    Miles from nowhere

    Seconds from everywhere

    The typewriter clicks banged off the walls

    Steel drums clattered in the distance

    Monkeys tossed pineapple bombs in the graveyard

    And all was merely a flicker of time

    Bottled in a piece of cherry-lemon rhyme

    My Christmas tree bent and dried

    Presents left unopened

    The jagged shards of ornaments

    Looking like fragile teeth

    Ready to take a bite out of me

    Whenever I passed by them

    On my way to the bathroom

    To load another razor

    To scrape away my senseless charm…


    It was in the grocery store where I saw her

    Standing in the long line

    With a bottle of all-natural apple juice

    And carb-friendly yogurts

    Cradled within her arms

    She smelled like dirty peaches and chai

    Broke and fragile and hot high from behind

    Her zodiac leggings tight and cradling ass

    One strap of her orange top sliding off her dimpled shoulder

    She turned for a moment to cast a psychic, random smile

    Ocean water eyes from another world aglow

    A premonition of a wife to be

    Then watching her fade out the sliding doors

    As I plunked down thirty dollars

    For beef steak, potatoes and mounds of pasta

    And I dropped them all for love

    And followed her through the jungle

    Hoping she’d lead me to a crystal ball

    Or Kerouac’s meditation mat in the woods…


    And when I raised my head up off my table

    The vinyl stuck to my face trying to keep me down

    I realized I was dreaming again

    The jagged teeth of the ornaments

    Grinning wide, making fun of me

    And I went into the kitchen

    Turned on the light above the sink

    And went to work making a poison stew

    While listening to Prague DJs spinning

    songs about screaming for help.


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  • Sun burns world

    Sunburn my lady
    sun burns morning glory glows of you
    while I wait in the queue
    on some dock in Liverpool
    the dusk dawn of ending day
    perched high on the wireless clouds
    polished antique haze
    a dirty orange smear in the sky
    a trench coat wrapped in rain
    a pocket watch ticking out the pain
    songs of doves and ice-cold cod
    tolling bells of doom booming through the fog
    the sunburn rains on down
    an apple, a rose turning brown
    halfway through the memories on haunted hill
    halfway through the turnstiles stuck in glue
    sun burns red, sun burns blue
    a wind sick hotel in desert hue
    sagebrush rolling through dry dust dew


    I’m tapping on the dirty windowpane
    scratching out a lullaby with jagged nails
    the lovesick howl
    of another lonely road
    the lovesick boil
    of crooked yellow veins
    pumping globs along the asphalt trail
    thunderclouds muscle the mountains
    bloated bruises whispering might
    I take a flashlight and head out into the night
    sun burns down the juice of a pale moon
    stars like angel eyes fill the room
    of lightless morning desert bloom
    there’s a knock on the door
    but no one is home
    there is a fist on the brick
    shattering tender bone
    sunburn rains down wanderer all alone
    the clover and cattle moan
    a sherbet shining erection of sun
    blocks out the light of all that is done
    wet spit harbor lights shimmer and shake
    wet spit city lights clamber on the lake
    little blue boats sweep against the waves
    sunburn eye scans the sky
    to alleviate the savage
    to tempt the tea kettle to howl
    to rise one’s heart from horizontal rest
    yoga flirtations in a rocking chair
    sunburn swirl in a rocket ship
    her bottom lip
    licked moist within the sway of a hammock


    The sun burns a Bakersfield cathedral
    porcelain dolls wet with makeup
    make their way up
    God’s holy stairs
    and even angels stare
    at the divinity of sunburnt blonde
    kneel down and pray
    coddle the crucifix
    sun burns Jesus stained with holes
    high noon it’s time to go
    to the factory or the ghost town
    to the clown with an upside down frown
    time to go to longevity
    to sweat the sweat of brevity
    motel mattress smells of dust
    motel mattress saturated with lust
    checkout time was long ago
    pounding on the door… It’s time to go


    Sun burns the empty rot
    of a drive-in movie lot
    weeds and grass all a cluster
    speaker boxes corroded like old toasters
    the flicker of the screen
    sun burns a celluloid dream
    twists and melts and scatters away
    yet another sunburnt Technicolor Day
    cloudless blue burns right on through
    to this heart and on every bruise
    sun burns the junkie loading a needle
    high times on the highway
    90 mph plus to negativeland
    screaming green neon the width of the band
    whiskey sour at happy hour
    the beat of the desolate
    the beat of the chagrined
    taps out the code of a breathless heartbeat
    swimming rings around the warm wet circles
    piling up on the warped mahogany bar
    sun burns the ice chime singing to the glass
    sun burns the momentum of a lover’s last stance


    Back home in Hollywood
    trying to find the ocean
    back home in Dino’s Den
    the racing pen
    the hog tied hypocrisy of CNN
    humming American voodoo at the tempo
    of a sunburnt porcelain doll in heat
    swipe the cherry bomb across the mouth
    98.6 degrees of candy store junk
    dripping all along the Walk of Fame
    from hence the angel cove I came
    sun burns the jungle land
    of another Eden and Disneyland
    heat up the honey in the jet stream
    blur out the flag in another American dream
    sun burns the justice and the liberty
    sun burns the momentary meaning for us all.



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  • My Vimana

    I bought a green and red striped lampshade in a small shop on the corner of 5th and Main in some battered and bruised American town. It made my lonely place look like Christmas, but more importantly, I needed something to shelter me, from the rain, coming in my windows, running down the walls, it’s even chasing me, down and through the halls. Can’t remember what to see, I was looking for something to just say, something beautiful, something truthful, wondering what parts matched your eyes, your crystal-blue cornflower eyes, that made your face a place of peace, like high-country grass beneath the better parts of space, like a white farmhouse, a red barn, a green lawn, all ringed by a wooded place of trees and quiet and the amber hands of some Summer God, reaching down, parting the canopy and letting in the light.

    Clothes void of bodies, flutter in the winds of my crowded and unkempt closet, the one over there, on the wall full of bullet holes and big, red hearts all shattered and astray. I got venom in my pocket, I got a bottle rocket — “don’t shoot your eyes out,” the maniac under the bed, said, and Charlie Chan stares in through the window, biting down hard on a skeleton key. I was getting way beyond damaged… Much too soon and much too hard by the tollbooth dictator via Kansas way, that hot sway on the highway and the hunt for a Motel 6, somewhere near Lawrence, where Burroughs used to live and where he died, but it got too late and hazy, the lust wore off like bad medicine and I went on driving—to Kansas City, Amorika, via the fatal stroke of midnight.

    Sleeping pills and mind medicine sat on the bedside table like jewels. I could not sleep. I rattled my feet. I stared at the white ceiling, where there cast was the shadow of a one-eyed alien lamp, and then I thought it would be a good time to take a ride in my vimana, and I put on my flying pajamas, wrapped the dog tags around my neck, and then carefully crawled inside. I closed the hatch and ignited the mercury, and we went up, up, up and out through the retractable skylight of night like Mr. Wonka and his magical elevator. I looked around as I rode over the world, the rooftops all shimmering and wet from the rain running down your face, and the Earth an electric grid, with some places very dark, these, the dens of the poor and hungry and forgotten—and some places very bright, these, the dens of those that do all the forgetting.

    So, my vimana and I flew around undetected, no one knew us like I know them, if she only knew, what I know, what I know, what I know, of everything back then—and the sun began to creep over the edge of my destiny, and I felt it was time to bring her down. The vimana landed in some other world, looked like the realm of De Smet, South Dakota in the late 1700s. There was a great meadow of tall, yellow grass and it swayed back and forth a bit in the light breeze that they had there. I shut the vimana down and crawled out. There was a chill in the air, and I put on my long, black coat I kept stowed behind the seat. There was a howl of emptiness in the air—as if I had been the only man that had ever been there. The sun was not orange or yellow, but a bluish white. It was a steely sun, a cold sun, a sun undone by time and space itself, but it lit the world around me, no less than the sun of my own.

    I buttoned my black coat and put on my Moroccan cowboy hat and lit up a Marlboro red. I looked around at the landscape, seemingly vacant of any man or animal. To my left, a great, long wall of gray yet bedazzled rock for as far as I could see. To my right, that sea of tall, yellow grass crashing against some invisible shore like the feathers of tender Eve. Then straight ahead. There was something there, on a small rise of land. I wondered, if it was the grandmother vimana, waiting for me on the landing pad porch, ringing the dinner bell with the tail of a comet, hanging out the clothes for proper dying, ready to depart to my new world of love and peace and long sleeps in bone-bleached sheets in some white house on a clean street in small town bizarro-world Amorika. I crushed my smoke out with the sole of my cool boots, the boots I bought in Albuquerque right before all that madness began in the Nob Hill pub, and I walked on, toward grandmother vimana.

    As I got closer to it, I realized it was no mother ship at all, but instead, a grounded structure hewn from sturdy, gray wood, now bleached by the blue sun. There were four sides, a roof, a porch, rectangular windows with crisp white curtains, and a door. I walked the perimeter of the place and looked around, over my shoulder, no one to be found. I peeked in the windows. There was something there, but I could not tell. It was somewhat dark and hazy in there, so I went for the door. The white knob was cold to the touch. It turned. The door was not locked; it opened with a nearly inaudible squeak. I stepped inside, the wind outside blew in. I walked around slowly, quietly, like an uninvited guest. The floors creaked. It was just the one room, that is all. The walls and the air in there were void of any signs of life. There was but one thing in the whole of the entire place, and that was a wooden chair; it was set near the window that faced the direction I came from. I sat down in the chair; I adjusted my Moroccan cowboy hat and lit up another Marlboro red. I stared out the window for a very long time; it never got dark ever again. My vimana was gone. The wind shook the tall, yellow grass for as long as I stayed there, which was forever, like her crystal-blue cornflower eyes, melting winter’s dawn at the very moment you leave dreams and enter life.


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  • The Escape Artist

    Oxidized eyes and diamond fireflies doing the rotating Merry-Go-Roundabout above in the sky, under hot sun ozone hole as I’m mining in desert Minehead up the breach highway linear West near the Hondo – I’m hitting into dirt wall with pounds and pounds of frustration while the rattlesnakes and the antelope watch, cocking their different heads in wonder, sniffing the air with nose and tongue, searching for an unwound rag doll named Sheena in this desert Mars land of bar.

    There’s a tattered zip line over a deep gulley to get across when the mad, mad water rushes in from the West – but this place be bone dry today and yesterday and probably has been for a long, long time by the looks of the bleached skeletons down in there playing bad hands of poker with weathered cards set to reel off at any second with the slightest breeze. This is Deadland and I am deep in it, shins and thighs scratched to hell by the muscled, thorny bitch plants that thrive here, the ones that dine on salt and spit and kick at you with tentacles of nails.

    It’s Christmas day and it’s still too damn hot. I’m hiding from St. Nick because I know he’s going to beat me with a pillow sack full of fresh beehives. The family of strangers back in the village is all too damn hypnotic, admiring those dumb faces as they hold up the shiny new toaster as if it were a mirror – you’re burnt bread baby, I can smell it from here. How can you live in such a fucking catacomb Mrs. Nannette Hourglass? How can your soul stand to be so bound? I for one cannot take it and let out of there like a hurricane playing a harp, a roughshod whisper, phantom skin squeezing through the door, starting the car, driving away, away, away.

    Sure, I think about my bad case of anti-social and radical behavior as I ride alone on the Rose Highway smoking sheepskin cigarettes and listening to defunct, angry music. Sure I feel the rocking horse guilt well up inside and think I might puke it all out over the steering wheel, but this mind muscle can be hallucinatory, can trick you into believing that what you are doing is right when in fact could be wrong, but most likely is correct anyways, baby – listen to your soul, not the fucking TV – for Christmas is meant to be spent alone, alone in the dry hot, hot whorehouse, alone to recall the dead ones that used to give you gifts; gifts now broken, now tattered, the ruined parts sent back to China or Bangladesh where they are piled in heaps right next to the used and worn bodies that made them in the first place – stockpiles of corporate shit and the starving enslaved with those melted, plastic fingers scratching at the emergency exit just to get out, out, out.  Smile and sell for hell.

    The sausages are boiling in the pan over the small fire I have built here. The smell is fine. The stomach is growling. I look at my scratched pocket watch – they are all probably sitting down right now for the big feast and the blah, blah, blah, hah, hah, hah, chit chat shit of waggish talk whilst imaginary butcher knives twist in the spine of who sits across. It’s all pretend love and love until the polite goodbyes and then the door slams and the backstabbing blurp, blurp comes rolling off those twisted tongues. I wanted no part of that; I wanted crisp sausages, quiet, fire and Christmas cheer – toasting the rocks, the gravel, the wayward scorps – it was lonely as hell either way.

    There is the aftertaste of chagrin in my mouth and guts – oh, how I long for guilt-free freedom, how I long to never return to the same space twice, how I long to taste every road, every directional arrow, every point on the map, every carriage, every castle, every loch, every green garden ever grown, every ocean, every river, every trickle of light in some small English cottage – but I am far linear west poking at ash with the metamorphic girl sitting across from me now dressed in lava rock – it is the shimmering sheen of some prehistoric volcanic sacrifice in hallucination – the wild makeup and hair; the savage, spitty pout; the long, velvet legs leading to Heaven’s flesh; the eyes bursting like honey bombs set ablaze by a sharp, silver Zippo.

    Flick, burn, inhale –

    “Merry Christmas,” I say to her anyway.

    She fades away, but I can still smell her – like roses and spray paint.


    I thought I saw that dude Arafat scrambling around in rocks and brush, but the longer I stare the more I realize that nothing is real. It’s all a memory bank baby. We were all here many moons ago, rag-tagged in the back of some trashed out Euro sedan, barfing out the remnants of mad ragers all over the freshly polished desert floor, the groaning, the twisting and uneasy sleep – everything always comes back around again no matter how hard we try to avoid it. Memories are deposited, the pains and joys withdrawn – it’s like black-and-white Poland to me, wandering in rags, sleeping in parks, losing muscle just to hustle.

    888 West End posh and some baby hot, hot lady in bed-ready red is sipping my best brandy like it’s water as she sits on my couch looking at all the shit I have on the walls. Does she even know she’s just a mannequin who happens to know how to breathe?

    “So, it’s New Year’s Eve, and here we are.”

    That’s what I say to her.

    Her glassy eyes look up at me as if I were some loon.   

    “Do you like chainsaws?” she asks. “I’m afraid of chainsaws.”

    She holds out her glass for more brandy.

    “You know, this shit is pretty expensive.”

    I pour her more of the brandy and walk out onto the veranda. She doesn’t get off the couch. She just sits there sipping my expensive brandy and staring off into space like some bucket of chicken in need of a warm towel. How can I tell her to get the hell out of here, but still be polite about it? Am I really that boring? Is it me? Has it always been me?

    I turn just in time to see her putting on her coat and walking toward the door.

    “Wait – it’s not midnight yet.”

    She smiles, puts a chick cigarette between the frosted lips.

    “So, what? “You are boring me; you always bore me.”

    That’s what she said to me in that thick Euro accent.

    “But wait, we could take a drive in my car. It’s fast. We can go wherever you want.”

    She stopped at the door.

    “All right, but you let me drive.”

    She was a maniac behind the wheel, but I said nothing. I even removed my seat belt when she went faster, faster, faster.

    “Are you afraid I will wreck your car, or worse, get you killed.”

    I just let go and flew with her. She accelerated. Faster. Faster. She went faster still until we were out of the city and in the luscious throes of country dark.

    “Are you afraid yet?”

    She shut it down in some lonely void.

    “It’s 12:01. I’m going home now.”

    She got out of the car and walked away, disappeared into the dark woods, forever gone.

    I poked at the ashes with a stick on Christmas day. The sun was still bright, and I was still alone. Would it ever be safe to go back? Why go back? Why keep going back? This life should not be a revolving door – push in once and go through, push in again and keep going through, push, push, push, until the end is beautiful enough to stay, the day she falls in with a first airport kiss that sends rockets to space.