It was at a Red Lobster restaurant on the outskirts of Peoria, Illinois when the nervousness really kicked in.

I was sipping on a cranberry Boston iced tea and thinking about the loneliness of the sea at the same time I was looking out the window at the savage ravages of the world. The thought of going back out into that chaotic traffic made me upset.

I looked across at the woman sitting there with me. She was intensely studying the menu.

“What are you thinking you’d like to eat?” I asked her.

“A salad, maybe.”

“A salad? That’s gay.”

She looked up at me, disgusted almost. “What?”

“This is Red Lobster. Enjoy the delicious bounty of the sea, for Christ’s sake.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.”

“You seem on edge.”

“You always say that.”

“Because you always seem on edge.”

“I have a nervous condition… You know this. And you ordering a salad at Red Lobster doesn’t help any. At least get some little baby shrimp on your salad. Geez.”

She leaned in closer across the table. “I can eat whatever I want, thank you very much.”

“Oh, right. News flash. I’m the man. You should eat what I suggest.”

She scoffed. “News flash. I’m not living like that. You can stick your antiquated ways of thinking right up your keester!”

“Keep your voice down, woman. Don’t you dare embarrass me at Red Lobster!”

“I’m going to use the restroom. Perhaps consider readjusting your attitude while I’m gone. And I swear, if I come back and you’ve eaten all the cheddar biscuits, I’m going to scream.”

She got up and I watched her shapely ass as she walked away toward the bathrooms. I suddenly thought about ditching her. Yeah, that would be a story to tell the grandkids. About how I ditched some chick at a Red Lobster in Peoria, Illinois.

I got up and walked outside to smoke a sailor cigarette and think about things. The roar of the traffic and the hot sun were annoying.

I went to the car, unlocked it, and got in. I started it up and backed out of the space and drove off.

I went along aimlessly until I found a cheap chain motel. I checked in and went to my room. It smelled like sex and cigarettes. The view from the window was poison and the color of love gone astray. I drew the heavy curtains, and the room became depressingly dark. I turned the A/C up to high. It was rattly and noisy. I went to the bed and laid down on it without drawing the blankets back. I started screaming at the ceiling and I just kept on screaming until some very strange people came into the room, lifted me up, and took me away to a far better place.