Morning cracked open like a hopeful universal egg as the rabbit emerged from under the house. The air was wrapped up in a spring chill. Everything seemed dripping wet.
He was no longer inside a can; he broke out and could now unleash himself upon the world. When he stood, he looked more like an ape than a rabbit — on two feet, colored cerulean-blue, the size of a large man, bulky, muscular, big ears like antennae, fangs, bloodshot eyes, otherworldly. He took his first steps and moved further out into the yard, turned, and looked up at the old farmhouse. He knew what thrived and died inside. He felt the bad things, sensed some good things. Then he thought, “I need a name.”
The farmstead felt vacant as he moved about. But the house was not vacant and perhaps he should have known about this. The padre was asleep on the living room couch and Serena was upstairs in her bed. It was early morning after all. The rabbit thought again, “I need a name.” He lumbered off into the open landscape, directionless.
Serena suddenly opened her eyes. Her bedroom was awash in the light of dawn. She popped out of her bed and went to the window. Something had driven her to it. She looked out and saw the yeti-like rabbit moving across the landscape. The blue creature suddenly stopped and turned. Serena felt his eyes suck her in. It was so creepy, she thought. It was dark and mysterious. She put her hands all over herself to make sure she was still real. That large thing out there was sedate as a statue yet breathing and watching and even recording with its mind’s eye. Serena wanted to step away from the window, but her feelings were glued. Her mind and body were locked in place. She was scared, though. “What is he doing out there?” she whispered aloud. She pinched her eyes tight and watched the vision on the big screen of her mind. “Oh, I see now. He’ll be coming back.”
Her bedroom door suddenly swung open and there stood Reverend Savior. “What are you doing in here?” he asked.
Serena’s eyes ballooned and she turned from the window and looked at him as if he was completely out of line. “It’s my bedroom. What are you doing in here? Come to take a peek at me or something?”
The reverend stepped further into the room and shook his holy head at her. “You always have a smart answer, don’t you.”
“That’s because I’m sharp as a whip.”
“But I’m as sharp as two whips,” the reverend snapped back.
“That’s a totally stupid thing to say.”
Reverend Savior stepped closer to her. “Now, young lady. You should really watch that tone of yours,” he said, wagging a thick finger at her.
“Or what?”
The reverend’s voice fumbled. “Or something secret suddenly coming at you. You won’t like it.”
Serena stepped back from him. “You’re being creepy.”
“I’m a man of God. How on Earth could I possibly be creepy?” He reached out as if he were about to grab her arm and violently yank.
“If you touch me, I’ll scream.”
The padre paused. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a cloth and wiped at his sweating brow. “Scream? Right. We don’t want you to be screaming. I, I, don’t know what is happening.”
The padre stepped back and looked past her. “Was there something interesting outside?” he wanted to know. He bumped her aside and went to the window and peered out. “Hmm. It’s shaping up to be a beautiful day. How about after you make breakfast, we go on a nice, long walk. Would you like that?”
Serena went and stood beside him at the window and looked out, but the rabbit beast was gone. “I was just soaking in the beauty of our creator’s world,” she answered. “And yes, a nice long walk would probably do me some good.”
Paul paused in the radiated glow of the corridor. The jail was strangely silent, but then again, he had made it that way. He went back to Josiah’s cell and peered in through the window. The poor man was balled up on the floor, his arms protecting his head. But from what? Paul opened the cell door and went in. Josiah seemed startled when he saw him there.
“What do you want now? Are you going to slay me some more?” Josiah asked.
“Truly you are suffering.”
“Yes,” Josiah agreed. “The most suffering of my life.”
“But you’ve made others suffer, isn’t it right that you should suffer as well,” Paul said with harsh judgment in his voice.
Tears slowly ran out of Josiah’s eyes. He trembled as he spoke. “I deserve suffering. It’s only right.”
Paul moved a hand to his chin, looked down and thought about it for a moment. “Is it?” he said, addressing himself more than Josiah. “What if I set you free?”
“Yes!” Josiah cried out. “You can do that?”
“If I wanted to.”
“But surely they would come looking for me.”
“I could make it to where they won’t. I will hide you.”
Josiah stood up and looked at Paul’s face as if he were trying to figure something out. “Are you some sort of Jesus figure in disguise?”
Paul laughed at that. “No. I’m not any sort of Jesus figure, as you put it. I’m merely an apostle of magic, like I’ve been saying all along, a mysterious vessel of space and time and all the secrets of the universe.
Josiah flapped his hand in the air. “Yeah. Right.”
Paul sighed. “Believe what you want. It doesn’t matter to me. So… What’s it going to be?”
“Of course, I want to be free, but what about Sarrah? She would never want me back.”
Paul smiled calmly. “You’re right about that. Things are going to be different for you back home.”
Josiah stretched out his face with his hand and looked at the young man with suspicion. “Something tells me that this whole deal is going to serve your needs more than my own.”
“Do you really have a right to your needs being filled? That’s rather arrogant and selfish.” Paul strolled around the small cell as he spoke. “Like I said, things are going to be different. You can’t live in the house where we will be. But freedom comes with sacrifice.”
“I’ll live out in the barn,” Josiah said as his eyes followed him.
“Yes. You will live out in the barn. Like an animal,” Paul declared.
“I can absolutely be an animal,” Josiah said with half-hearted joy. “Look.” He went down on his hands and knees. He made pig noises as he moved around the cell. Josiah went to Paul’s ankles and wrapped his arms around them. He started to lick at his shoes.
Paul raised his foot and presented it to Josiah. “Make sure to get the bottom nice and clean.”
Josiah stuck his tongue out as far as he could and did exactly that. He didn’t even mind the dirty, germy taste.
“And you’ll get our leftover scraps for food,” Paul told him.
“I love scraps,” Josiah said, eager to move forward with the plan. He pushed his face into the floor of the cell and pretended to sloppily eat while oinking.
Paul stopped and watched the pathetic creature below him. “And most of all, there will be absolutely no touching of Sarrah.”
Josiah jumped to his feet. “But a man needs something. Just allow me an occasional squeeze of the breast or a palming of that sweet caboose. That means her ass.”
“I know what it means,” Paul said. “But I don’t like the sound of any of that. It’s crude and disrespectful.”
Josiah did not care for his answer, and his eyes narrowed. “But the law says were married. I’ve got papers.”
Paul made it clear. “We’re not going to follow that law anymore.” He paused for a moment, then smiled. “But I could allow you to watch.”
“Watch what?”
“When I make love to her.”
Josiah winced from the emotional dagger stab, but then considered it. “Sarrah would never go for that.”
“She doesn’t have to know,” Paul said. “You could hide in the closet.”
“Yes. I could hide in the closet,” Josiah said, growing more excited by the second.
“You’d be a creepy peeping Josiah,” Paul said with a humorous smirk on his face.
Josiah went to a corner of the cell and crouched down. He put a hand in front of his face, fingers tight together, and then moved the hand slowly down until all that could be seen were his eyes wide and popping out. He flicked the eyeballs back and forth like an automated doll. “How’s this for creepy?” he said.
“Very creepy,” Paul answered. “Are you ready to go?”
Josiah stood and leaned his back against the soft wall. He looked around the cell with nostalgia on his face. “I know this sounds crazy, but I may actually miss this place.”
“You are crazy. You do know that, right?”
“I am?”
“You’d have to be, considering all the crazy things you have done in your life.”
Josiah eyed Paul with an untrusting face. “Like what?”
Paul looked up and rubbed his chin. “Do you recall the time when your cat was lying on the stovetop, and you turned on the gas?”
Josiah looked down. He felt shame. “Her tail caught on fire. It smelled funny.”
“That’s right. I’d say that was crazy.”
He looked up at Paul with wild eyes. “But, how did you know about that? I was just a kid then. You weren’t even born yet. Did someone tell you that story?”
“No. I watched it happen.”
“But how…”
“Enough questions! I don’t need to explain myself to you.” Paul turned his wrist and looked at his watch. “It’s time to go.”
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CEREAL AFTER SEX 