• The Lonely Arcade

    Photo by Mikechie Esparagoza on Pexels.com

    shattered windows cry like Sunday peacocks
    warning of the impending doom of glass
    falling like rain
    on the slaves of the night
    the weary soldiers
    trudging through a thick fog of poorly scented gloom,
    thick like bruised syrup,
    thick like hot, metal mud
    clogging the valves of another heart
    gasping for love –

    the wind blew through the lonely arcade
    dead leaves danced
    against the dirty brick of store fronts
    the faded head of a plastic clown,
    the old paint of his face peeling away,
    wobbled without notice
    his wide eyes
    stared off into nothingness
    and I could hear him laugh at me from the inside
    as I walked on by
    not a charming or entertaining laugh,
    but a hollow, haunting one
    and it perpetuated the chill in the air,
    the loneliness,
    the frozen desolation –

    all the shops were closed for the season,
    all the gamerooms shuttered up tight
    and a couple ratty kids
    raced through on their bikes
    their shouts
    and hate-filled laughter
    echoed through the walkways,
    bounced off the big panes of fragile glass
    and pounded against my head …
    I listened
    as the sound of their whirling wheels faded away
    as if they had suddenly taken flight
    then crashed into a cloud –

    and I stuck my cold hands in my pockets
    looked down at the gurgling stream
    from atop a small, stone bridge
    searching for a glimpse of reality
    in the icy waters below
    as it flowed
    like thick sex and lava
    tumbling over the smooth stones
    and the sound
    of silent cold
    beat against my head
    and I drew my sword
    and ran it through my imagination
    causing me to fall over the edge
    to vanish,
    to drown in the void
    of an angel’s troubled and guilty soul …

  • Anti-Architect

    Photo by Longxiang Qian on Pexels.com

    At 32 you’re not 24 anymore, and at 43 you’re not 31 anymore, so said the Jack-O-Lantern out on the porch, waiting to be bashed and smashed onto Cockleberry Street … and it was the invisible night all breathing out there with a chill, I can feel it through my open window even in November to let the air and the smokestack vibes in, vodka mathematics scrawled out on the wall with some leftover charcoal from art school days. I was going to be an artist, an artist with practical purpose, so they said. I was going to be an architect, I was going to be the next Mike Brady or Art Vandelay, but I took the way of the pen and heart and withdrew from school and moved to Denver to be hip and fresh and I got all beat up and raw in Mile High Land and needed something more and so sailed off to Los Angeles … and there it was, the City of Angels, where I finally felt alive and fine and free and fucked up for nothing but savage and good purposes … and time tilts forward.

    I was in Moon River, that beacon place by the water, looking down at the carpet and watching the aliens taking long, romantic walks through the shag of it all. I was all numb form the dumb of it all, out there, on the other side of Peaceful Valley where they all stare off into dead blue space or stare off into their HD telephone screens, slow-motion rolling billiards balls doing tiny, tiny knock knocks inside their brains … baa, baa, baa the sheep strum the perilous strings of a world turned upside down while praying to the idiot gods. 

    I watched the road for danger but there was nothing but yellow peace up there in that atmosphere where I tried to dial her love in on the universal radio … static heartbreak, scars of distance, the lake waves lapping at the shore … the watery, rhythmic shewoo, shewoo, shewoo of chilled water against sand, rock, time, darkness, bright lights … Manitowoc, Whitefish Bay, the one way, way up and the chant, rant of the green and trees and ivy and smell and mysteries that swell all along my bones and soul … lonely carpenter ant man outside wood lodge sitting in a plastic chair smoking Marlboro killers and nodding “hello” to the night guests, that swirling mouth of the desk clerk coming out in the chill just to rub my way and talk about addiction and talk about dreams and talk about life everlasting. But at the way we wage war, love doll, there will be nothing left, for we gladly fund killing and the raping of life without a tick, but ignore the wide, starving eyes of the battered and the innocent … and we sit here, and try to call ourselves, humanity??? 

  • Pink Shirts in Cuckoo Land

    it’s laughing about a pink shirt that matters

    Pink shirt hanging on a rack in hot land Nashland 

    the mannequins greet with greater smiles than the real ones 

    corporate propaganda BS blurbs hanging, dangling all around the world 

    to coax the penniless to remain penniless, enslaved, inflamed, amazed by the threads sewn by the dead in third-world jungle towns of lumber and dirty sandwiches 

    tussled jungle juice at the straw hut bar 

    afro shot glasses watching scrambled CNN

    machine gun toddies burning flags, slathering the bed bugs with flames

    the world all-around a crooked mess

    the hate, the slain, the empty and ignorant souls making godless claims of god

    it’s all the same

    from end to end of Amorika

    this global force for greed

    brown sewing fingertips

    pin-pricked like diabetic blood

    so the PR smiles drip on

    the glossy lives of commercialized bliss drip on

    my wife’s beautiful Sonic Ocean Water eyes drip on

    and she is my sanctuary

    love is thy sanctuary

    family is thy sanctuary

    for the world has offered so little

    but yet into the world she fell like an angel

    all the rest is glittery ash

    it’s this bond of love that matters

    it’s laughing about a pink shirt that matters

    it’s collapsing all the doubts and false dreams like a circus tent, kick out the poles, let the world blow

    to give of myself is all I have left

    to wrap myself in and all around her 

    to furiously love like fire

    despite the chill of the Earth

  • I’ll show you my cereal if you show me yours (With Poll)

    I’m someone who eats cereal at night. I’ve never much enjoyed cereal as it was intended – a breakfast food to kickstart one’s day. Not for me. I’m not really into kickstarting my day. For me, cereal is much more of a snack food, a bowl of deliciousness cradled in my lap while watching House Hunters or My 600-Pound Life in bed with my wife.

    I have to admit that I’m a sweets guy. I like sugary cereal. That’s unfortunate for me because not unlike the late, great Wilford Brimley, I have DIE-A-BEETUS. The Lucky Charms leprechaun is literally killing me, or rather, I’m letting him kill me. But what a way to go. Maybe more on that struggle later. But it’s the weekend and I thought I would just do something short and simple and fun today.

    So, choosing what my favorite cereal is not an easy task for me because there are so many I like. But I’ll narrow it down to my Top 10 – in no particular order:

    Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries

    Lucky Charms

    Corn Pops

    Honey-Comb

    Sugar Bear’s Golden Crisp

    Post Raisin Bran (Has to be Post because IMO it is the best)

    Nature’s Path Heritage Flakes

    Grape-Nuts

    Apple Jacks

    Cocoa Pebbles

    And there you have it. Now that I have confessed my cereal desires, what about you? What’s your favorite cereal? Check out the poll below and vote for your favorite.

    But before that, I guess it’s only fair that I share my worst cereal experience – and that would have to be: Cracklin’ Oat Bran. I’d rather eat avocado smeared atop a piece of tree bark.

  • A Carnal Knowledge of Cereal

    Photo by GEORGE DESIPRIS on Pexels.com

    Cereal. It’s the perfect companion to the afterglow of a carnal embrace. First, there’s the reaching into the refrigerator for the milk with an elevated heart rate. Then there’s the gathering of the bowl and spoon with a shaky hand. Next is the gallant tumble of the cereal itself from its slightly upturned box while one bead of love sweat runs down your skin beneath a rumpled shirt. And after that, there’s that reckless cascade of white liquid from the carton or jug as you try to catch your breath. And at last, there is that thrust of the silver tool that will eagerly deliver your very first bite.
    I like to sit in a comfortable armchair situated near a big picture window that overlooks the square as I cradle the bowl and eat. I bask in lascivious thoughts as the cold milk and crunch repeatedly crosses the threshold of my mouth. I can hear the chewing in my own head, rhythmically tapping like the silver balls of a desktop Newton’s cradle.
    As the dying sun collides with the birth of a new night of stars, the square below glows a faded purple. Car after car after car reverses from its diagonal space and goes off into the void, the people inside trying to find their places in the brutal world. A woman with tousled hair and an ass packed tight in zodiac leggings crosses before me and takes refuge in the other chair. She stares into the glow of her phone, beautiful and sticky and smelling of love.
    “What kind of cereal are you having?” she asks without looking at me.
    “Corn Pops.”
    “Oh. Fancy.” She pauses. “That was hot.”
    “What’s that?”
    “Earlier. Baby.” She looks over at me and mimics a kiss.
    “Yes, it was… Did you know that they used to call them Sugar Corn Pops.”
    “What?”
    “Corn Pops. They used to be called Sugar Corn Pops.”
    “Your mind drifts to strange places. How do you go from sex to cereal and back again?” she wonders aloud.
    “I suppose they figured the word ‘sugar’ had a negative connotation,” I say. “I suppose some marketing dildo who makes $200,000 a year came up with that one.”
    “Why do you worry about that?”
    “Worry about what?”
    “Money, and what other people do and have.”
    I think about it, then tilt my cereal bowl to drain the last of the milk and set it aside. “I guess I’m just hung up on perfection. Like a wet winter coat on a mudroom peg.”
    “Baby. Perfection isn’t found in things or money. Perfection is found in the simple, meaningful moments.”
    I look over at her there in the chair before the big window framing nightglow. “Like our love?”
    “Like our beyond beyond love,” she says.
    After a brief fissure of silence I ask her what time it is.
    “11:02,” she answers with a yawn. “Are you ready for bed?”
    “I’ll be there in a little bit.”
    She rises from the chair, leans down and kisses me with purpose. Her lips are wet and scented from the grape-flavored water she always drinks.
    “I love you,” she affirms. “Believe in that.”
    “I love you, too. I really do.”
    She looks down at me, smiles and presses her warm lips against my forehead. “I know you do,” she whispers.
    I turn to watch her walk away, through the low glow of a long, narrow kitchen and into the darkness of the back bedroom that swallows her up.
    I get up out of the chair and take my emptied bowl to the kitchen sink and rinse it out. I walk back over to the big window and look down upon the vacant square. The gray, cold stone of a courthouse reflects fear and loneliness. The empty and silent street reminds me of a dark corner in Heaven. And even with all that, I know if I am careful with her heart, I will never be alone again.