Prince Oddity

Medieval man in ornate clothing and cloak looking at castle and garden at sunset
A medieval-clad man gazes over a lush garden toward a castle at dusk.

Prince Hawkwind of Leafdom stood alone in his private garden. He looked down at the stone pathway. The spaces between the pieces glowing green with moss. The sun was shining and some of the light fell onto the leaves there and they cast foreboding shadows at their edges. He knew this was the day that they would likely take him away. Even now he wondered why he hadn’t been locked in his room. The prince looked up at the sky. He wondered if he’d ever see clouds again. He fisted his own head and growled.

“Why was I so stupid!?” he said aloud to the garden. “I’m always doing stupid things,” he went on to no one. He punched himself in the mouth.

“Stop it!” came a voice from an upper window of the estate house. “Stop debasing yourself.”

He turned to look and was shocked to see that it was himself calling down from the window. He was an exact replica in every way, shape, and form.  

“How can this be?” the prince wondered aloud. He looked up again and saw this double doppelganger staring down at him and smiling oddly. “Who are you and what do you want!?” the prince below cried out.

His other, his replica, moved away from the window and was gone. The window remained open, and the scent of cinnamon and death crawled out and came down to touch the prince’s face. He whipped his head around thinking someone was there. And there was.

“Hello, Prince Hawkwind,” she said. Her voice was like that of a small mouse wrapped in feathers floating on a cloud.

His eyes fell upon a young woman who seemingly came out of nowhere.

“Where did you come from?” the prince demanded to know.

“I was smelling flowers, and I heard you talking. I wanted to know what was going on.”

Prince Hawkwind studied her for a few moments as if he had no idea who she was.

“I’m Charlotte. We’re cousins in one odd way or another. I’m staying on here until the end of the year.”

The prince crossed his arms and looked at her. “Yes, yes. Young Charlotte from Hammon Heights. I know. I’m not dumb.”

She bowed before him. “Pardon, my lord. I did not mean to infer you were dumb.”

Prince Hawkwind sighed. “You don’t need to do any of that. I may be a prince in title, but I have no respect here. In fact, my acute paranoia tells me something is afoot.” He looked all around, his eyes soaked in suspicion. “Do you believe in spies?” he asked her.

Her lapis lazuli eyes, the color of the sky, popped wide. “Spies? Yes, I do. I know a lot about it.” She grabbed the prince by the hand and led him closer to the hedges and out of sight. She whispered, “I’m a spy.”

“You’re a spy? Have you been spying on me?” the prince needed to know. “Because if you have, I could banish you to the dark forest where you’ll starve and die.”

“I’m not, but someone else is,” Charlotte warned. “I wasn’t out here to just smell the flowers. I came to warn you.”

“Warn me?”

“Yes. There’s been a lot of talk throughout the house about doing away with you. I am sneaky and soft-footed, so they don’t always know I’m there. They think you’re crazy and an unfit royal. They fear great embarrassment and poor leadership down the road. They say you’ll ruin the family name.”

The prince gazed at the ground. “Wow. That really hurts. But I suppose I can’t blame them. I am crazy and unfit.”

“I don’t think you are,” Charlotte said with a smile, trying to make him feel better.

He looked at her for a moment and then asked, “Have you ever seen someone around the estate that looks just like me but isn’t me?”

Charlotte scrunched her face in puzzlement. “I can’t say I have,” she answered, the words flowing from her mouth slowly.

“It must have just been my imagination.”

“Or a hallucination. Sometimes people with a mental defect hallucinate.”

The prince took great offense to her words. “A mental defect? You believe I have a mental defect?”

She calmed him with a reassuring touch on the arm. “No. It’s just scientific things I’ve been reading about in big books. I want to be a doctor of the mind when I get older. I just meant that it could be a reason you are seeing things. From my studies, I have concluded that it has something to do with a chemical imbalance in your brain. It’s like having a sick heart. You may have a sick brain. It’s not your fault.”

The prince was silent and serious for a few moments and then suddenly burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny,” Charlotte wanted to know.

“A doctor? But you can’t be a doctor. You’re a woman.”

She moved forward and stomped on his foot as hard as she could.

“Hey!” the prince shouted. “That hurt.”

“I can be a doctor. I can be whatever I want to be. No man is going to ever stand on my neck!”

He quickly put a hand over her mouth to shoosh her. “Settle down. Someone might hear us and that would be the end of both of us.”

“You need to leave this place. Tonight. Get as far away as you can,” she said, whispering again.

“Where will I go?” Prince Hawkwind wondered.

“Into the deep forest and beyond. To a place called Otherside.”

“I’ve never heard of it,” the prince said. “Sounds made up.”

“It’s a real place.”

He looked around and thought about it. “I want you to come with me.”

“What? But I can’t do that. They’ll all think that you kidnapped me. They would surely run you down and kill you for that.”

“I need your help. And you’re not crazy like me. I’m bound to do something very stupid without you. I’ll get lost and die. You’re smart and don’t take shit from anyone. I would be blessed to have your guidance.”

She traced the unforeseen situation around her with her lapis lazuli eyes as she thought about it. She took a deep breath. “But I’m supposed to stay here until the end of the year. Whatever will they think?”

“Nonsense,” the prince said. “No one around here cares about you. Your own mum and dad sent you away. They put you here because it’s a large place and so they thought you would just wander around and get lost. Not be under anyone’s feet. Besides, we’re never going to come back. Your life will completely change. And remember, you said it yourself. You can be whatever you want to be.”

Charlotte burst out laughing. “You sound like a lame ass life coach.”

The prince huffed. “Do you want to go with me or not?”

Then a voice came from outside the gate. “No, she doesn’t. She wants to stay here with me.” The gate swung open, and the replica of Prince Hawkwind stepped into the garden.

Charlotte’s head spun around like a whirly-bird. “Whaa, whaa, whaa,” she managed to get out.

“Yes, we are exactly the same in nearly every way. The only difference is, he’s crazy and I am not.”

Prince Hawkwind stuck out his hand. “Nice to meet you… What should we call you? How about Sir Replicant? I think it’s an amazing name.”

The replica put a finger to his chin and thought for a few moments. “Yes. I like it. I will be Sir Replicant.” He turned to look at the young lady. “And you must be Charlotte. I’ve been following you around in the manor house.”

“Why?”

“Just to make sure you don’t get yourself into too big of a heap of trouble.”

Prince Hawkwind grinned. “I like the way you talk. Your voice is much better than mine.”

Sir Replica put a firm hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes. “We really need to work on this self-worth thing with you. Your voice is fine. But now we should go. We’re supposed to follow the red brick pathway. It should be colored brick-red. Follow the red brick road…”

They all laughed out loud, hooked arms, and set out on their new adventure.


Discover more from cereal after sex

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Medieval man in ornate clothing and cloak looking at castle and garden at sunset