• The Gravy Canoe of Wild Wyoming – 13

    Mother Melba Gould carried a tray supporting a pot of hot java, clean cups, cream and sugar. She carefully set it down on the coffee table in the front room. Steel followed behind her holding a pie. Dutch apple. There was also a carton of vanilla ice cream, a scooper, glass bowls.

    “Pastor Stikk,” Melba said. “Would you like to say another prayer before we enjoy our dessert?”

    He stood among them and smiled. “Yes, of course.” He cleared his throat and looked up at the ceiling for a moment. He mumbled something inaudible and sighed. “But I’ve been moved by the Holy Spirit to make a confession to you all.” He looked over at Carrie. “Some serious love has been happening in this room. It happened while you two were in the kitchen. I’m sorry, Steel, Melba. This is all too powerful for me to hold in any longer. I love Carrie. I’ve loved Carrie for a very long time.” He glared at Steel. “Long before you set foot in Berlin, Wyoming, young man.”

    Steel took his time pouring himself a cup of coffee. He worked in the cream and sugar, stirred it with a silver spoon. “So, you’re a thief?” he said. “You’re going to steal another man’s woman just like that? That’s real Christian of you.”

    “I can’t steal something that already belongs to me,” Pastor Stikk snapped.

    Carrie broke in. “Wait a minute… Don’t I have a say in this? I’m not some cow to barter over.”

    Someone in the clouds snickered.

    “I believe your moans of ecstasy earlier said enough, Carrie,” the pastor pointed out.

    “Ecstasy!?” Melba cried out. “What kind of ecstasy has been going on in here? Do you not see the pictures of our beloved Jesus hanging on the walls? You did this in front of his eyes?”

    Pastor Craig Stikk pumped the brakes at her with his hands. “Hold on, Melba. The Lord spoke to me. He told me that Carrie would be mine. Was it a few moments of heavy lust? Yes, it was. But it was lust blessed by God.”

    “Lust?” Steel said.

    The pastor laid foul eyes on him. “I ventured into Carrie’s private area, if you must know. With my face. It was wonderous.”

    Steel shot up from his seat, nearly tossing his cup of coffee to the floor. “You’re nothing but a creepy pervert. How dare you molest my girlfriend! I ought to knock your block off and kick it down the street like a soccer ball.”

    Mother Melba put a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. “Enough! she said, shaking her face. “I’ve heard enough. This day has become twisted into something I never dreamed of. Such talk.” She turned to look up at Steel. “But then again… I have a confession as well.”

    Steel’s eyes grew wide. “You don’t have to say anything, Ms. Gould.”

    Carrie looked over at Steel. “What is she talking about? What’s going on?”

    Steel took a deep breath. “As long as we are all spilling our sinful and lustful guts… I kissed your mother, Carrie. In the kitchen. Twice.”

    “What!?”

    Pasator Stikk chuckled. “This is great. Open, lustful communication. Please, tell us more, Steel… Because there is always more.”

    Steel paused for a moment. Then he looked around at them all. “I touched her between the legs, too.”

    “Mother!” Carrie cried out. “How could you allow it?”

    “How could I? How could you!?” Melba snipped. “Poor, poor, Steel. You were cheating on him… And with a man of God no less!”

    “And tally ho… He was cheating on me!”

    Pastor Stikk put his hands in the air to settle the voices. “Please, friends. None of this is cheating. We are merely putting the puzzle pieces of love in the proper places. We fit better like this. This is God’s will. Now, watch.” He went over to Carrie and forced a kiss upon her mouth. “There. Let that linger for a moment. Okay, Steel. Now you give her a whack.”

    “What?”

    “Just do it. Kiss her.”

    Steel went to Carrie and gave her a kiss as well. The pastor was envious because it was long and deep, and he began to worry if his little experiment would backfire. “That’s enough,” he said. “Well, Carrie. Whose kiss moved you more? Whose kiss made your loins shiver?”

    Carrie stood and put her hands in the air, palms out. “This is all too weird. You are putting too much pressure on me. Love cannot be forced. I won’t allow it to be forced upon me like this. You both need your heads examined. I’m going to my room to be alone. Good day to you both.”

    The men watched as Carrie disappeared up the stairs. They looked at each other. Pastor Snikk sneered. “Good job. You drove her away.”

    “Me?” Steel said. “You’re the one being all weird with your twisted kissing game. Do you even realize how bizarre you are acting?”

    “I’m merely acting upon the will of my Lord.”

    “Bullshit. You’re acting upon the will of your old, crunchy balls.”

    Mother Melba shot up from her place of meekness. “Out!” she yelled. “I’ve had enough of this god damn bickering!” She suddenly clamped both of her hands over her mouth. “Oh dear,” she said. “Do you see what you two have done to me!? I’ve taken the Lord’s name in vain.” She went to one of the portraits of Jesus on the wall and her sorrowful eyes fell upon the image. She petted his face with her fingertips and spoke softly. “I’m so sorry, Jesus. Please forgive me. I’ll eat a bar of soap if it is what you wish of me.”

     Steel threw his hands up in the air. “I’m out of here. Thanks for one of the weirdest days of my life!”

    Once he was out the front door and down the walk, Pastor Stikk went to Mother Melba who was still stuck to the wall and whimpering to her framed Savior. He cleared his throat to gain her attention. “Melba? Are you all right, dear?”

    Her eyes slid slowly to gaze upon his face. “I think I may have a broken soul, pastor. For the first time in my life, I seriously fear Hell.”

    “Come now, Melba. It was a simple slip of the tongue. Don’t be so hard on yourself,” the pastor said.

    She wet her lips and moaned oddly. “A slip of the tongue?”

    “A mistake. No one’s perfect.”

    “Would you mind helping me up to my bedroom? I think I need to lie down for a while.”

    The pastor nodded and put an arm around her. He held her like that all the way upstairs and into her room. She sat down on the edge of the bed. “Close the door,” she said. She patted the soft place beside her. “Come sit with me.”

    Pastor Stikk moved toward the bed and sat down beside her.

    “I haven’t been with a man in a very, very long time,” she confessed.

    “There’s no sin in that, Melba,” he said. “Purity is often a blessing.”

    She slid a hand onto his thigh. “Perhaps, but would you be willing to remind me what it’s like?”

    “Melba. I think your emotions are overwhelming you now. I don’t believe you are thinking straight… And besides, I love Carrie. She’s in the very next room. I could never…”

    “I just need you to fill the gaping emptiness inside me. Just for a little while.” She stood and began to undress.

    The pastor’s eyes danced upon the morbid vision of her unshapely body. He had a sickness in his head and so slowly reached out a hand to touch her. She slid back onto the bed, and he smoothly followed after.

    TO BE CONTINUED  


  • The Corn on the Cob People

    Photo by Mali Maeder on Pexels.com.

    The grocery store is full of human corn on the cobs.

    They walk around like stiff, yellow erections.

    They’re dressed in green husks, unzipped, the cornsilk is hair spilling out at the chest or the top of a pointed head.

    They wander aimlessly, brainlessly.

    “Where’s the milk?”

    “Where’s the apple pie?”

    How do you survive

    In the real world?

    Golden niblets of humans.

    Boisterous in the world.

    Sometimes I simply cannot take it. I’m often screaming without actually screaming.

    It’s gotten to the point that I’m geographically agoraphobic.

    A pill poppin’ marionette with broken bones hiding in the clothes closet, shaking, quaking.

    I sit here at this desk in the red corner with shaded sun to my right and I’m trying to write.

    It’s like trying to crank cement through a meat grinder at times. I end up with a bowl of gray dust.

    And then I think of smoked fish on the lakeshore in the days of my youth. That taste lingers in the memory canal.

    I think of green parks and trees and spinning playgrounds of glossy plastic.

    I think about how it was waking up in a castle without worry rotting in my guts.

    Why do we have to grow up and battle the world like emotional cyborgs?

    I am tired from battling the world every five seconds or so.

    I just want to sail to somewhere peaceful.

    Like another country not so frayed by the ridiculous.

    But does that even exist? Is there an exoskeleton unbleached?

    Maybe another planet then, another galaxy that isn’t made of spilled milk.

    A planet void of idiots, these pong bong corn on the cob people.

    A planet with plenty of coffee shops and maps and libraries.

    There must be somewhere else to go, to plant feet and dreams.

    Hot water, salt, butter. It’s another day.

    Let me swing with love on a porch of green beneath a blue sky.

    Let me find peace in these days of over bloated derision.


  • Staring At a Blank World

    Photo by Burak The Weekender on Pexels.com.

    Staring at a blank world

    An absurd word

    Telepathy and oranges

    A blue envelope sits on the desk

    Scratchings of heartbreak within

    Duties of the monster coil

    I do not breathe recycled sin

    Antwerp and Amsterdam

    Nepal and bolognaise sauce on under ripe pasta

    The shanties swim in the grayness

    The mist of the clouds is heavy, wet

    The spires fornicate with the clouds

    Angels’ wonder cries aloud

    Coffee tins full of bandages and cash

    Fingernails unfolding a gash

    I am document one, dream two, life three

    I make no sense because my head is like a machine gun

    The glittering sun and the horizon

    A small child rides a goat

    Breaking nicotine gum out of its packaging

    The kid would rather smoke than be a joke

    Unlucky charms splinter and fall

    It’s easier to start with a blank bullet

    You can press any button and it won’t destroy the world

    This hair is driving me crazy

    Too much of too little

    I’m a derailed lobster

    I cannot find my way to the cold sea

    At the end of the country

    Where I can look out upon Canada

    Sitting there on the other side of an imaginary line

    The visions dissipate like time

    Memories coughed up like a cold

    We all get old, we all decay in some way

    I see the stars I know

    Now all wrinkled, gray, changed, bent

    I’m staring at a blank world full of shapes

    Waiting for something bad to happen

    Sipping on a cup of paranoia

    An orgasmic orange waiting in the refrigerator.


  • The Restless Cottage

    I look at the lights cloistered to the ceiling. The white is clean, bright, and sanitizing. My mind is drifting from one port to the next. I pull in, I pull out. The joy escapes me. What is my maniacal menace? I step through the portal of time. I am absorbed by a periwinkle haze. The flowers pull me through. Wooden shoes fly in the air like spaceships. Dutch aliens probe the dusk and dawn. Stone lions stare, those eyes of chrysanthemum penetrate. Restless. Ambient. Wheelful. Woebegone stylus. Headful. Heartful. Hurtful. A hot sun reflected off the walkway. Fish fight in the windows the aromatics of the girls like scented arrows on soap shop day I’m cold on a hot day. Popcorn porn. We are aliens. Aliens are us. Just look at people, really look at them. It’s not hard to see if you really look. It’s the shape of the head that gives it away. The shiny skin, too. The slipperiness. The eyes, the nose, the mouth. Everything.   

    The morning field was wet with green, the fences were warbled, the old barn rested crooked on its wooden limbs. An alien figure was bent in the yard. He was wearing blue work clothes, tan boots, and a bandana around his neck. He toiled in the damp earth with a small hand-held spade. We wondered what he was digging for. We looked away for just a few seconds, and there he was, pressed against the back window and peering in.

    Soon there came a light tapping on the glass and he held something up and pointed. It was an old coffee can. “Worms,” came the voice, muffled by the clear barrier. “I was digging for worms. I felt a vibration in the air, the source of it being your minds, and perhaps you were concerned I was in the yard, that I was going to do something bad. But I assure you, I was not doing anything bad. I was merely digging for worms. I’m going fishing.”

    He came around to the front of the cottage and stepped up onto the porch, a sheet of nearly summer green behind him. He knocked on the door, his large, pale face grinning on the other side of the inset glass panels. He was abnormally tall, and that odd head was so round and gleaming.

    “What does he want?” I said to her.

    She looked up from her book. “Go see.”

    I went to the door and opened it only about four inches. He tried to push his face through the gap. “I was just digging for worms,” he said again, and he held out the open coffee can for me to look. “See.”

    I peered inside and saw the creatures wriggling there. The smell of the dirt was strong. “Where are you going fishing?” I asked him.

    He moved his head in a direction over his shoulder. “There’s a creek right over there.”

    There was a silver sliver of a stream on the other side of the road. White rocks glistened in the sun, gray boughs weighted with plump green leaves hung over the trickle of water.

    “Doesn’t look deep enough to fish in,” I said.

    “I go farther down, and it is… What’s it like in there?”

    “It’s private. Very private.”

    “And we’d like to keep it that way,” she snuck in from the comfort of a leather recliner. “If you don’t mind.”

    He stepped back from the door, turned around and looked up at the sky. “Well, I suppose I better head off before it starts to storm.”

    “Fine then,” I said. “Good luck with the fishing.”

    I closed the door and waited while he walked off the porch.

    “What a weirdo,” she said.

    I kept my eye on him as he walked across the road and struck a path alongside the creek.

    “He doesn’t have a fishing pole,” I said, finally realizing it.

    “How’s he going to fish then?”

    “He’s not going fishing,” I answered her. “He’s up to something entirely different. He wants in here for some reason.”

    “Stop it.”

    The strange man with the coffee can of wriggling worms and dirt leaned against the trunk of a weathered old tree and his gaze fell upon the cottage occupied by the couple from the city. He didn’t care for the man at all, he thought he was cold and rude. The woman was beautiful. He knew that, felt that, had something for her now. His gaze shifted to the sky, and he looked for the lights. They would be harder to see in the blaze of day, gray clouds in pockets, a soft breeze. His large hand swept over the smoothness of his head. He looked down at his pants, his tan boots. It was nearly the first day of summer, and he felt like he wanted to snatch up some token of love.


    The sun had fallen and scraped its knee. The darkness flowed in like ink and cast an all anew eeriness on the cottage. The windows were many, the light inside orangish-yellow, white, silver; the darkness outside was very dark, witch black. A light on a pole that sat in a field across the road flexed itself from orange to fire white to nothing. It repeated the pattern as if it were some signal, some ghost voice from beyond.

    “Why does that light keep going out?” I asked her as we rocked on the porch.  

    A storm thundered in the distance. The sky illuminated for a moment. “Pulsations, I suppose,” is all she said, and she went back to her book.

    The intermittent light from the lamp on the pole reflected in a pool of rainwater on the road. The distant thunder rolled like a bowling alley. Fireflies blossomed fluorescent green then dimmed as they danced in the night air of nearly summer. I looked up the road and into a broken grove of trees where a white light grew. “Is that someone’s headlights?” I wanted to know.

    She set her book in her lap. “I’m trying to read,” she said. But then she clicked off the little clip-on light and closed her book completely. “Listen to those frogs. I bet there are people in the world who would come out here and not even know what that sound was.”

    “You know, I never heard an owl my entire life until about eight years ago.”

    “That’s just so interesting,” she said, and then she went back to her book.

    The couple had no idea the odd stranger had been lurking just a few paces away, breathing and listening, controlling the lamp on the post in the field with his thoughts. “Off, on, rub out, rub on…” he whispered to himself as he made it happen. He made a movement with his hand and the lights in the broken grove up the road swelled and faded, swelled and faded. Something was waiting.

    Then he threw the coffee can of immortal worms into the air as hard as he could, and it skittered across the roadway. The metal clanged against the cracked asphalt until it rolled through a puddle, and then finally stopped with a slurred hush.

    My heart rattled in my chest like a stovepipe explosion. “What the hell was that?”

    “The wind must have rolled a paint bucket across the road,” is what she said.

    “A paint bucket?”

    “A metal paint bucket.”

    “You’re crazy.”

    “If you’re going to be all nervous and disruptive, go back inside.”

    “Wow. Really?”

    No reply. I went inside for an evening coffee. The Keurig had incontinence. I proceeded to get an orange from the refrigerator. When I went to slice it, I forced the knife too hard, and the serrated edge went into my misplaced finger. “Mother fucker!” I yelled, and the orange and the knife went tumbling to the floor. The blood began to seep out. I sucked on it like a lonely vampire before running it under cold water at the kitchen sink.

    She must have heard me because the cottage door opened. “What happened?”

    “I cut myself. This knife is dangerous.” I waved it around in the air.

    “Put pressure on it,” she said as she went into one of the cabinets to dig out the first aid kit. She undid a bandage and wrapped it around my finger.

    “It’s a pretty serious injury,” I said. “Do you think I’ll lose my finger?”

    “The way you yelled; I thought you did.”

    There was a thump out on the front porch. A board creaked from some sort of pressure bearing down on it.

    Both our heads snapped in that direction.

    She moved toward the door.

    “What are you doing? You can’t go out there.”

    “I forgot my book. I’ll be right back.”

    I watched her walk away. She went through the door. She barely closed it behind her, but then something suddenly sucked it shut tightly. There was a mechanical hiss and vibration.

    I went after her, yanked the door open and stepped out onto the porch. She was gone, a red taillight haloed by an ivory glow ascending to the heavens.

    END

  • The Bangs of Midnight

    Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com.

    In the bangs of midnight glitter the soft song of a rain long traveled reaches high and then falls across the plains and the monstrous valleys and the cities that bloom with fever and the people there all tremble in the wake of an acid fish freefall, the tempest looms, the clouds stir, the sky pummels itself, the small man down there beyond a pane of glass sits and wonders if life is even real.

    Across the velvet troposphere the stars and planets all align, heartbeats on Earth are often helpless, the mad ones ushering in the demise of decency and honesty and honor, catapulted clowns in shackles take to town hall podiums and do nothing but spit.

    The grit of the wild west, orange blossoms and glass, wooden houses, long yawns of prairie butt up against mountain muscles, the chivalry of the star people, red-handled scissors cut away the clouds of construction, the blue sky like birth, like boy, like soft love against the hard stone of the world, 26 letters for endless thoughts.

    Periwinkle pencils tilt like men, scratching incoherent, do not drift from beauty, what words come next, questions accumulate like barn hexes in Witchland, Hollyrock, cold cock, chimes, chants, the Broadway groovies, the downtown floosies, diabetic testing supply salesmen getting hit by cars in the aftermath of a bank robbery, too high, much too high, where’s that waiter with the water!?

    Turquoise turtles tell me where you are. I don’t want to walk around in this world without you, my love. I will fight to find you on the other side. I don’t fit in this world without you. My space with you is everything.

    The turquoise turtles swim through space, a necklace of you around their amphibious throats, liquid stars, quasar cigars, men and girls in bars, the women, the boys, we are all each other’s toys.