Tecumah (End)

I drove over to Tecumah’s earthen home to see if I could score some devil’s lettuce off him, but he wasn’t there. I tooled around Taos for a bit, got some lunch at a restaurant made from a huge clay pot, went to a bookstore that was like a barn, and then paid homage to D.H. Lawrence’s ashes in the hills.

After that, I picked up two big bottles of wicked agave tequila and then headed back over to Javlin’s place for the party. I was a bit nervous, as I usually am when about to meet new people and took a few big schlucks of the mad drink I had bought before going to the door of the now shuttered gallery.

I knocked and Javlin came bounding forth out of the shadows like a creepy criminal. He was wearing a dress and he had put his hair in pigtails and had white, powdery makeup all over his face.

“Thom! Thom!” he exclaimed. “You have arrived, and I couldn’t be happier! Please, come in.” And he twirled around like a dancer high on life.

I stepped inside, dazed, and confused. It seemed quiet and void of people. “So, where’s the party?” I asked.

“Upstairs Thom. Everyone is upstairs and we’ve been waiting for you! This is so exciting!”

I followed Javlin up the narrow staircase, having to look at his pale, stubbly legs jutting out from the bottom of the dress as we ascended.

“Here we are then!” And Javlin spread his arms wide and had a huge grin on his face.

“Is this some kind of joke?” I thought to myself as I looked about the apartment above the gallery where he lived. There was a round table set in the middle and around the table were five chairs. Two of the chairs were empty, but in the other chairs sat three dolls, all with cracked, odd faces and dressed in torn doll clothing.

“What the hell is this?” I asked Javlin in all seriousness.

His smile suddenly drooped. “It’s a tea party, Thom, and you’re the guest of honor. Don’t you like it?”

“It’s weird, man.”

“Nonsense! Let me introduce you to everyone.”

He grabbed me by the arm and took me around the table to show off each doll.

“Okay, this little guy is Javlicious, this sweetie pie is Javlene and this adorable one is Javsie… Well come on Thom, don’t be rude. Say hello.”

I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t believe it. “Hello,” I embarrassingly muttered.

“Well,” Javlin began, prancing about the table, “Now that everyone knows each other, let’s sit down and have some tea and talk about shit. Oh, and I made some cookies… Now, now Javlene, don’t hog all the cookies!”

I looked at the dolls. They made absolutely no effort to move, to speak… To be alive.

“You can sit here, Thom,” Javlin said, and he pulled out a small chair from the table.

“That’s a small chair. I’m afraid I might break it.”

“It may be a small chair, but it’s mighty powerful,” and then he yelled “Yee Ha!” as loud as he could.

“I think you need a doctor, Javlin,” I told him. “I think you’re mentally ill.”

“What are you talking about, Thom? I’m just trying to have a little fun. Why do you always have to be such a stick in the mud? Don’t be a party pooper. No one enjoys the company of a party pooper.”

“It’s just… You have to admit, this is all pretty bizarre, even for you. I mean, the dress, the hair, the dolls… They’re so creepy.”

He looked at me as if he wanted to kill me. “You apologize, Thom! Apologize right now!”

“No. This is stupid. I’m leaving.”

I turned to walk away and that’s when Javlin’s big hand came down on my shoulder and he shoved me into one of the small chairs. “You’re being quite rude, Thom, and I don’t like it! Now apologize to my friends so that we can get on with the evening!”

I looked around at the bizarre, lifeless dolls. Javlin was breathing heavy and twirling his hair with his club-like fingers. He glared at me with crazy, swirling eyes. “Apologize!”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry everyone. I sincerely apologize.”

“Excellent,” Javlin said. “Now we can get on with the festivities.”

Javlin sat down and then reached for the big, plastic tea pot in the middle of the table. He gingerly poured pretend tea into everyone’s cup.

I looked down into my empty teacup. “There’s nothing in here,” I said.

Javlin slammed his big fist on the table, and everything shook. “Damn it, Thom! Haven’t you ever attended a tea party? You have to use your imagination.”

I watched as Javlin lifted his teacup, extended his pinky finger, and sipped at the pretend tea. “Ouch,” he squealed and then giggled. “That’s hot shit.”

I looked over at the dolls and they remained immobile and lifeless in their seats.

“They’re not drinking theirs,” I said to Javlin. “Why do I have to drink mine?”

“Jesus, Thom, quit being such a tool… And yes, they are drinking their tea and eating the cookies.”

“I brought some good tequila, Javlin. You were always fond of a good tequila glow. Can’t we drink that?”

“No, Thom, they’re minors, they can’t drink alcohol. God, are you dumb.”

“Well, they don’t have to drink it, we can just drink it. It will be like old times,” I tried to convince him.

“I refuse to be a bad influence in front of my friends, Thom, but if you want to be all drunk and weird, go ahead I guess.”

I retrieved one of the bottles from my saddlebag and began to drink it down like it was a jug of water.

Javlin looked at me, appalled, as I filled my wishing well of emotions. “You keep drinking like that Thom and you’re going to die.”

“And if you keep playing with dolls, they’re going to lock you up,” I said back to him.

Javlin cupped his ear in the direction of the doll named Javlene. “What’s that? Yes, he is being quite an asshole.”

I set the bottle down on the tea party table. “I’m sorry, Javlin, but I just can’t do this anymore. I think I’m going to leave.”

“You can’t leave,” the three dolls said in unison. “The party is just starting. We’re going to have lots of fun.”

I tried to shake the bad mojo out of my head. “What? Did they just talk?”

“Of course, they talked. They’ve been talking to you all night, Thom,” Javlin said to me. “And I must say, you’ve been very rude to them, constantly ignoring them like you have.”

“Let’s kill him,” the doll named Javlicious said. “I’ll kill him myself… With my trusty little brick here.”

“Yes, let’s kill him,” the two other devotchka dolls chimed in. “You should have believed in us. You lack true faith.”

And then they all started chanting together — “Kill him, kill him, throw him out a window.”

And the dolls got out of their seats and started coming toward me, and that’s when I upended the table and went for the stairs, but Javlin stuck out his big foot and tripped me and I went tumbling down.

And then it was the three dolls on top of me pounding away real horrorshow on my body and bones. Small, but powerful tolchocks that I could just not defend. I tried grabbing one by the throat and tossing her aside, but she bit into me hard, and my red blood began to flow.

“Javlin! For God’s sake, please help me!” That’s what I yelled out to him, but he just stood there grinning and chuckling with his mussed pigtails all jutting out to the side and his sloppy face all happily evil and glad that I was being legitimately raped by three porcelain dolls with cracked flesh, and they just kept beating on me and beating on me until I just couldn’t take it anymore and all went dark and then to bright light and then suddenly somewhere else.

Tecumah sat in the passenger seat of my red Ford Probe as I gunned the engine.

“Now remember,” he said. “You have to jump out or you’ll go with it… And then, you’ll be finished too.”

And he made the motion of sliding his finger across his throat to indicate death.

“All right, all right. Let’s do this,” I said.

We lurched forward along the dirt roadway toward the edge of the cliff overlooking the beautiful valley. I stomped on the accelerator.

“Slow down! Slow down!” Tecumah yelled. “You don’t need to go that fast!”

But I ignored him, and then it was Tecumah bailing out the passenger side. I watched him in the rear-view mirror as he tumbled away in the dust and dollops of high desert brush, getting ever further and further away.

And then it was the lip of the cliff and like floating off to Heaven for me, my guts all wobbly and feeling funny as I went over the edge, up for a fraction of a second, and then quickly down, down, down, and I was no longer afraid of dying or anything for that matter. Everything was done. I made as much peace with the world as I could and that’s all I could do. I could do no more. I was tired of trying to gnaw through the bone of Idiotland. I was tired, and I needed a long rest.

And then there was a heavy crash and then fire and then burning, and bright light like royal sun forever.

END